Letter to My 18 Year Old Self

I would ask how you are, but I remember. You just got to college, and you are not doing well. You are struggling to make friends, doing poorly in your classes, and above all else, you are scared. You are so, so scared, and you don’t know if everything will be okay. You think the good times of your life have come and gone, and that you are alone.

You feel as if the sun will never rise again, and that all that is left is the cold and the dark.

Shayan, I wish I could be there to comfort you. I would give you a hug, and we would cry together, and I would tell you this:

You will see your family again, and you will love them more than ever. You’ll see that San Luis Obispo is not so far away, and that you can talk to Mommy and Bobbi every day over the phone. You will go back home, and things will change, but always for the better.

You will meet friends who are so kind, so loving, and so wonderful. You will meet Gabe, Jacob, and Aiden, and you won’t even be able to imagine a life without them. The four of you will be joined by Jordan and Alaina, and the six of you will make so many memories together. You are skeptical of ISCO, but you will make friends for life there. You will make so many more friends, in your classes, in your clubs, at home. Friends who will make you laugh and feel joy unlike anything you’ve ever known. Friends who mean the world to you. You will see your friends from home again, and you will be closer than ever. You will not be alone.

Shayan, when I moved out of our first apartment, Aiden, Jacob, and Gabe walked away from the building, but I hesitated. They walked further away, but I was too afraid of leaving the good times behind again. I looked back at my roommates, and I realized something: there was no place I would not follow them. I trusted that the good times would come again, and I felt hope beyond what any words are able to capture.

Shayan, I promise you this: The sun will rise, and you will be warm again.

To my friends and family, thank you for everything you have done for me these past 4 years. I hope the above letter gives you a sense of how much you mean to me. I love you all.